Blabbering about people and love.

Im hurt. And I cried a whole river. But its still my fault? The blame is always with me no matter what i did, no matter what i tried. how am i suppose to fake a smile anymore? When everything i did is wrong. Every single thing i said is wrong. How am i suppose to deal with this heart of mine? Sew it or staple it so that it will stop bleeding. I feel this burn, this intoxicating feel of just go away somewhere far far away. But in the end, i still have to face this. Why cant people cheer me up when im down, they just make it worst. They just assume and assume and assume, then bash me for being down. When im trying to get back my my feet, they'll bash me then im on my knees again. What the hell happened? Its just too hard, too heart breaking. I cant do this anymore.