Photographic Memory

Some say its impossible. Ada org kata its just something that was mentioned in Harry Potter. While i, i can say its a curse.

U know bila ada orang boleh senang ingat jalan, senang blaja, huge imagination?

Well i can say that i hate this curse.

Its highly impossible for these kind of people to forget something they are trying to. While i remember and dwell in every little black pieces of rocks that i stumble across.

I learnt that the subconscious mind restore everything bad, its like a closet. Well, mine is overflowing. Like my own closet. lol.

Thats y i can still remember my seat during my primary school, what i ate during lunch that time, the roads i took when i was in Indonesia, the last thing people that i cared say to me before they left me. The best part is, i remember every single details, every single shop i passed through/ Like a picture, a moving picture. When i read something, i can recall the exact page. Depends on how much do i want to remember it.

My own bad, i tend to treat every relationship that i came across as my last relationship, the one i would hold on to, so its highly impossible to forget everything. From the first, to the last and now, my new one, i can draw exactly everything in a piece of paper.

I wish i could just be normal. But im not. Im not. Thats y i need a steady relationship. I think, i just had enough, I tend to let everything falls into the closet, even if im upset, and its piling up pretty good back there. But now its overflowing, and thats y im writing this blog now. lol.

Its hard being a girl. I constantly live in insecurity/ I know that. i Hope people understand me.

I dont want to scold people, i dont want to be upset, because, that will be included in my photographic memory, and it will eat me up slowly. So i hope to the people that i hurt, i owe them an apology. Im not like that. I cant even scold myself, but things are overcrowded now, and i have to clear some of my piles up.

I hope they'd understand. Thats my curse. I, am the chosen one to have this curse. Ability but with a price, a never ending mind that keeps on talking and showing me moments that i'd love to forget. Its a damn fucking curse.