Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Hope.
I hope Ashraf Zainul, u can take me further away from this misery. And be there for me, even if its hurt. TQ.
Photographic Memory
Some say its impossible. Ada org kata its just something that was mentioned in Harry Potter. While i, i can say its a curse.
U know bila ada orang boleh senang ingat jalan, senang blaja, huge imagination?
Well i can say that i hate this curse.
Its highly impossible for these kind of people to forget something they are trying to. While i remember and dwell in every little black pieces of rocks that i stumble across.
I learnt that the subconscious mind restore everything bad, its like a closet. Well, mine is overflowing. Like my own closet. lol.
Thats y i can still remember my seat during my primary school, what i ate during lunch that time, the roads i took when i was in Indonesia, the last thing people that i cared say to me before they left me. The best part is, i remember every single details, every single shop i passed through/ Like a picture, a moving picture. When i read something, i can recall the exact page. Depends on how much do i want to remember it.
My own bad, i tend to treat every relationship that i came across as my last relationship, the one i would hold on to, so its highly impossible to forget everything. From the first, to the last and now, my new one, i can draw exactly everything in a piece of paper.
I wish i could just be normal. But im not. Im not. Thats y i need a steady relationship. I think, i just had enough, I tend to let everything falls into the closet, even if im upset, and its piling up pretty good back there. But now its overflowing, and thats y im writing this blog now. lol.
Its hard being a girl. I constantly live in insecurity/ I know that. i Hope people understand me.
I dont want to scold people, i dont want to be upset, because, that will be included in my photographic memory, and it will eat me up slowly. So i hope to the people that i hurt, i owe them an apology. Im not like that. I cant even scold myself, but things are overcrowded now, and i have to clear some of my piles up.
I hope they'd understand. Thats my curse. I, am the chosen one to have this curse. Ability but with a price, a never ending mind that keeps on talking and showing me moments that i'd love to forget. Its a damn fucking curse.
U know bila ada orang boleh senang ingat jalan, senang blaja, huge imagination?
Well i can say that i hate this curse.
Its highly impossible for these kind of people to forget something they are trying to. While i remember and dwell in every little black pieces of rocks that i stumble across.
I learnt that the subconscious mind restore everything bad, its like a closet. Well, mine is overflowing. Like my own closet. lol.
Thats y i can still remember my seat during my primary school, what i ate during lunch that time, the roads i took when i was in Indonesia, the last thing people that i cared say to me before they left me. The best part is, i remember every single details, every single shop i passed through/ Like a picture, a moving picture. When i read something, i can recall the exact page. Depends on how much do i want to remember it.
My own bad, i tend to treat every relationship that i came across as my last relationship, the one i would hold on to, so its highly impossible to forget everything. From the first, to the last and now, my new one, i can draw exactly everything in a piece of paper.
I wish i could just be normal. But im not. Im not. Thats y i need a steady relationship. I think, i just had enough, I tend to let everything falls into the closet, even if im upset, and its piling up pretty good back there. But now its overflowing, and thats y im writing this blog now. lol.
Its hard being a girl. I constantly live in insecurity/ I know that. i Hope people understand me.
I dont want to scold people, i dont want to be upset, because, that will be included in my photographic memory, and it will eat me up slowly. So i hope to the people that i hurt, i owe them an apology. Im not like that. I cant even scold myself, but things are overcrowded now, and i have to clear some of my piles up.
I hope they'd understand. Thats my curse. I, am the chosen one to have this curse. Ability but with a price, a never ending mind that keeps on talking and showing me moments that i'd love to forget. Its a damn fucking curse.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)